It seems that a lot of our old
definitions for things are just that: Old. So a group of scientists (and
comedians) have decided to create a new list of definitions for the New Year! Here
are some of the new definitions we loved the most:
School: An
institute where the child goes to play while the parent goes to pay.
Life Insurance:
A contract that leaves you poor while you live so you can die rich.
Nurse: A woman
that wakes you up in the middle of the night to give you sleeping pills.
Tears: The
hydrolic force that women use to defeat men.
Conference:
One man's confusion multiplied by the number of people there.
Father: The
banker nature gave children.
Politician:
Whoever shakes your hand before elections and your wallet after elections.
Doctor: A
person who kills your disease with pills and you with bills.
Compromise:
The art of dividing the cake in a way that makes everyone believe they got the
largest piece.
Mosquito: The
only insect that makes you prefer flies.
Etc: The word
that makes people think you are smarter than you really are.
Atom Bomb: The
invention to end all other inventions.
Yawn: The only
time married men are allowed to open their mouth.
Philosopher: A
masochistic fool who will be considered a genius once dead.
An adult: A person
who has stopped growing from either end and now just grows in the middle.
Diplomat: A
person who tells you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward
to the trip.
Chicken: The
only animal we eat before it's born as well as after it's dead.
Fancy restaurant: The only restaurant that serves you cold soup on purpose.
Puddle: A
small body of water that attracts other small bodies wearing dry shoes.
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